May 19,2012

I cannot believe i haven't updated since january!!!! So let's get started:)

  February: We went to seminole to hear our brother-in-law preach for the first time. We are very proud of him and he did an awesome job:) We left Joseph at home and one of my wonderful sister's from seminole, made the trip up to stay with him for us. We wanted to protect him from getting sick. It was difficult to leave him, even though i had done it countless times before, when he was in the hospital, and he was in great hands. He did better then i expected, which made it easier for me to be away. When my sister left, she left in tears and said" I don't know how you do it, I don't think i would be able too." My reply was simple, " i just do." To me Joseph was easier to take care of now, even on his tube feeds, then when we first brought him home. I remember those first few day's, I would have brought him back to the nicu in a heartbeat if i could have. But that wasn't an option, I finally had my "healthy" baby, that i had been wanting home so bad for six months, that i had to power through. That's what i did, so much so that i isolated myself from the people that come into my home to help me. They have not been consistent, so i try to be superwoman even when given a sidekick. It is a struggle to release the care of my child to someone, when that is all i waited for all those months.

  March: Brought back so many memories, heartbreaking and wonderful, all within the first 20 days. Early march we thought back on that day when joe's patch had come undone and he had his 6th surgery, Then just a few days later we celebrated the one year anniversary of his "breaking out of the NICU day." We also went back for his swallow study update and he passed with flying colors:) Back to solids we went and he did awesome. He did catch a 24hr bug, but handled it like a pro.

   April: We got to go spend easter with the family in seminole. Had an awesome time and Joseph learned to pull upto standing:) Also had another 24hr bug. His yearly evaluation with ECI, which he did great in all, except physical, which he continues to improve in daily. We had field trips for the boys, which made for a few busy day's.

   Now for this month, i can't believe it's already may, and that it's almost over. We have had a busy month, doctor visits, therapy visits, school things and best of all the company has been great:) Joseph has learned to cruise and climb on things, right about now i regret always calling him monkey, he is turning into my most daring child. I believe he thinks he has over come so much that he is invinceable to any and all things:) He's been sick again, i'm thinking with strep, although his blood work came back negative. He had high fever with throwing up(Or severe gagging because his nissen, resulting in me using his button to get it out) followed by refusing to eat or drink anything by mouth for 2 day's. Thankful we still have his mickey, or we would have ended up in the hospital. The dr want's to leave in his mickey till he's 2 since they had to put it back in a second time. Frankly i don't care if they leave it in longer, i don't know how i will get through next winter without it. He started standing by himself for 5 seconds in the middle of the room today, so walking is just around the corner. I'm so ready for him to do it, but at the same time it makes me sad:( He's blowing me away with how far he has come, so many day's we wondered if he would ever make it this far. I know we are in a quiet place right now with his CDH, that he could in the blink of an eye take a turn for the worse, but i'm enjoying it and taking one day at a time.

  It's hard for me to believe that Isaiah is going to be 7 in a few days:( I feel so unconnected with my kids since joseph was born, i spent so much time away from them, it breaks my heart to see the pain it's caused them. I see it most in chloe, she was a baby when joseph was born and by the time he came home she had grown up so much. I'm hoping this summer we can do alot of bonding and one on one time with mommy, as you can see on my pinterest page, i've got lots of ideas:) Until next time:)